Earthly voids & Spiritual quest, Mental Health

Derailed…Is there time to heal?

82 lives, she told me.
I was told to go to therapy.
I sought a mystic instead.
Centuries of soul shape shifting,
I want to get off of this roller coaster,
With the rails rackety wack ruckus.
The thrills are gone.
A mother to too many,
now I’m empty as a paper shell.
When I finish unwinding my body,
I forget about myself and
heal for them
heal for them
Not for me
For them
For them
Survival now, I rather take to the streets.
I have many atoms of animal instincts.
How many veils and unveils before I disappear?
All thoses homes splattered on the ground, scraping at my souls.
Karin is right,
we are hungry before we are born.
Human gossamer threads of thoughts,
access forgotten to the obtainable unknown.
Well, I can no longer wait.


5 thoughts on “Derailed…Is there time to heal?

  1. Mark Ryan says:

    A mix of sadness and the possible. I feel the anxiety and the impatience lyrical lick one another.
    I don’t believe we’ve come here to heal…but to change. Hope the beyond holds your hand.. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. The great question is, “change to what?” I’ve changed so many times….apparently centuries…and why and what for? This time around I got to heal from something I broke to change. Or seems like game over. She said, I’ve had a very long ride, as if I might not come back again.
      If I really gone through it so many times…how can I feel this lost?


      • Mark Ryan says:

        Maybe that’s what it feels like at the end. I know with kabballah we return each time to transform a part of ourselves that isn’t yet ‘fixed’. Sometimes enough is never really enough, how much of your soul is truly giving for example; i know i’m far from 100% selfless. Battered and broken, but you’re still here; you have more strength within than you may know. (have sent you something that might help)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for the encouragement. It seems
    I’ve must of been always clumsy in my past lives…feels like I break everything I’ve truly cared about. Self-sabotage, a behavior that I’m not fond of having.
    Jacob’s story is a great example of endurance and so was Job’s.


  3. Maybe I need to call upon Ceres to send me slumbering in the antidote of hope. All these mixed up feelings made me collide back to our collaboration.

    Golden Fragments
    A collaboration with

    Havoc and Consequence

    Measuring out my apathy, sieving out the soul.
    My senses in a state of flux, spinning off into the unknown.
    This world had trapped me for so long.
    Kept hidden under the bed of existence.
    Blocking out the light.
    The wheat fields of my mind looked for the grains.
    Tiny fragments that seeped in when all was dark.
    Each one a world of its own, taking seed within my soul.
    And now I shake, I quiver into the unknown; yet so familiar.

    Wiping gems and the precious truths on my eyes and heart.
    Feeling an inward rush of an amber glow, preceding this labored love.
    For fear of only gleaning, a break in my skin.
    I call upon Ceres deep within me.
    She sends me slumbering with the sparkling antidote of hope.
    Until the bountiful golden harvest rises from my old soul.
    Creeping the vines up my chalky spine to my crown.
    Tin foil turned in the alchemy of tears, to forever shine in gold.


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